A sense of impending peace

Los Angeles, California – On the edge of this city of bright lights, the metropolis disintegrates and fizzles into grains of sand carried away by small waves. We are perched in a house of timber and glass, a precarious construction that looks out into the void. Comfort is found in friends, in the search for beauty. There are sculptures and paintings, Maria’s far-away eyes and Jared’s long black hair and loose, friendly swagger.

We are pilgrims on the verge of something. Is it the end of our quest that I glimpse in the distance or just the acceptance that the quest is all? There is something shimmering out at sea that comforts me – though I don’t know yet what it is. No matter. I am just grateful that it is there. After so many years of desperate wandering, I am glad of this sense of impending peace. It is enough.

On the beach there is a meeting of monster trucks, a tai chi expert, surfers, fishermen, morning coffee drinkers, dog walkers, exercise nuts, people without work and people beyond the need of work. It is a new town for me and I am searching for its vibe. It will take time to understand its rhythm, its people, its ways. It may not happen during this visit, but I will begin.

Our quest takes us through many cities and increasingly home becomes something elusive. After tasting many places, it is hard to reconcile oneself to any one place; memories of other lands are always twirling in your head. If you stay in a single location long enough, it feels like home but it might just be a habit.

I do not believe home is a place, but instead some certainties I carry with me. A destiny. A love. Friendships new and old. Lingering desires. The awareness I have gained through the years. These things are my home in this world of transit and transformation.

Increasingly, material things burden me. I do not want possessions aside from a few tools that aid me in my quest. If it is not helping me get closer to my dreams, I do not want to carry it. I have been shedding and shedding until I have nothing but the essential and nothing I can’t carry on my back.

The things that matter most to me are intangible. I turn these things out into the world to make their own way: my writings, my songs, a sentiment, a solo that sounded good on stage the other night. They do not even belong to me.

Perhaps that is why I am at peace.

One response to “A sense of impending peace”

  1. Silvia Avatar

    Short sentences, phrases, the right choice of words, the rhythm make one find meanings, wisdom, understanding and joy. Lovely topic, excellent article.

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